Wild Acts
by Jujubie
Summary: [Coauthored by Blackbelt] Seto Kaiba is working on a case and finds out Anzu Mazaki is involved in it. So what does he have to do? Spy on Mazaki, who now that you mention it attends an all girls private school! What's our Seto to do now? [Discontinued]
1. Security Breech 007

**Wild Acts**  
  
By: _Blackbelt and Jujubie  
_  
JJ: Hiya pplz! Welcome to another YGO fic! But this time...it's a bit different...smirks Please welcome your co-host or in this case your co- authoress......  
  
BB: ME!!! -  
  
JJ: This is Blackbelt, but most of you know her as good ol' Hiei crazed BB!   
  
BB: My sexy hunky demon! Future hubby!   
  
YGO gang: --U  
  
Hiei: Get her awaaaaaaayyy! gets dragged off by BB  
  
JJ: Wait! BB! U have to do the disclaimer!  
  
BB: clears throat I DO NOT OWN YGO BUT I CERTAINLY OWN MY SEXY DEMON OVER HE- looks around Wait...HIEI! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!   
  
Hiei: hiding behind a wall Aiyah! She's crazy! .  
  
BB: There you are Hiei! squeezes life out of him .  
  
Hiei: gasps out H-how'd u d-do th-that?!  
  
JJ: For us to know and u to never find out...smirks  
  
Anzu: --U This is gonna take awhile...  
  
Joey: pops out of nowhere with a sandwich in his mouth phwat's gowing phon?  
  
Seto: ¬¬ nothing you'd understand mutt...  
  
Anzu: sighs now on with the fic...--  
  
_Reminder:_ "-" =talking '-'=thinking  
  
_Chapter 1  
_  
Seto Kaiba sat at his tidy desk, typing away at his laptop, staring at the screen showing no emotion whatsoever as his blank expression never wavered and his hands typed swiftly.  
  
News was that there had been a breech in his security system and crashed his hard drive and the whole company's system, which had shocked Kaiba though he didn't let it show. A couple of days ago it had taken place in the afternoon around three. Gossip got around that it was an illegal gang, stealing money for their purposes in illegal activities. Though Kaiba didn't pay much attention to gossip or believe in it, he always kept an ear open, for they're always some truth behind the lies.  
  
Kaiba worked for three days to fix the mess that had been made and fix his system with new technology. He had his agents on the case and lawyers to find out all the affairs and files behind this. Kaiba Corp©, which was regularly pretty organized, had become a mess these last few days.  
  
_'Who could of caused a mess like this and what was their true intention? From what I'm seeing no files were opened, no money was taken out. Nothing. Nada. So what could've he wanted?'  
_  
Seto Kaiba was sure a male did this crash and breach, for he considered females to be a weaker species. Though no clues let on what gender it was, but Kaiba was pretty sure. Whoever did this sure was pretty intelligent to get across his top-notch security systems.  
  
_'He or they have to be smarter than the federal agents and police detectives.'_ Kaiba shook his head. _'No way I'm the only one who has the password...no one knows it, not even Mokuba.'_ Kaiba mentally growled. All this thinking was giving him a migraine.  
  
Knock Knock  
  
"Who the hell is it now!" Kaiba bellowed out and heard a soft whimper at the other side of the door. He smirked inwardly. He still had it.  
  
"Um...Mr. Kaiba sir...uh we have some information on the security theft," A feeble voice replied. Kaiba rubbed his forehead in annoyance.  
  
_'Idiots, all idiots...it's a security breech! Not a theft!'_ Though he didn't voice his opinions aloud.  
  
"Come in." Seto Kaiba spoke in a firm voice that held no sign of the annoyance he felt. He returned to laptop, typing away promptly. He showed no sign of interest.  
  
The door slowly creaked open and he glanced quickly to get a glimpse of the man before nonchalantly returning to his work. The man looked to be around his late 30's and early 40's. He was slightly balding, what left of his hair was combed back suavely. He had a oversized belly, which seemed to be enlarged by his dark gray suit and tie. He had a handkerchief at his hand, which he dabbed the sweat on his forehead with.  
  
"Um, Mr. Kaiba, h-here's the f-files," He stammered, his voice wavering. Kaiba never took a glance up.  
  
"Set them down on the desk beside you," Seto Kaiba stated, dismissing him without so much as a thanks. The man sighed and hastily left the room. Seto glanced over at the manila folder once the man left. One thing he learned from his cruel stepfather was, _'never let your employees see you sweat or show any emotions.'_ And it helped him so far.  
  
Seto Kaiba continued with his program until an hour later when he looked up and saw that he had to pick up Mokuba from school. He sighed as he saved his work on a private file onto his disk, took it out and then deleted everything he had worked on. He didn't want anyone else to mess with his systems and get a hold of his new programs. Who knew? Maybe they were really targeting him? Seto shrugged, it was not the first time he had been targeted by an enemy, and he had grown to have a lot of enemies in his business and he was used to it.  
  
_ 'Cripes! That's it! Why didn't I think of it before? It could be one of the people against Kaiba Corp© being run by an adolescent like me.'_ Seto smirked. _'Though, I don't think any were smarter than me...I'll have to deal with this later or else I'll be late for Mokuba.'  
_  
Seto grabbed his laptop, put in his briefcase along with the floppy disk and took long strides towards the door where the manila folder caught his eye. He almost forgot about it. He took it and also put it in his briefcase. He'd have to have a look at it later when he got home. He left his public office and locked his door and walked out towards the company elevator. He walked in and was satisfied to find it empty.  
  
He pushed _'Parking'_ on the buttons displayed and the doors smoothly shut and began its descent downwards. Seto ignored the scenery being displayed before him and only concentrated on his thoughts. All this irritated him. He was ready to pop off some heads, just to relieve him of all the stress he was going through.  
  
Ding  
  
The elevator stopped and Kaiba walked off and out of the building altogether, where his personal limo waited for him. He opened the door and slid in.  
  
"Mokuba's school." Was all he said and the limo was off. Kaiba rummaged through the thoughts in his head.  
  
_'I'm going to get gray hair soon.'_ He commented to himself. _'Though it would look good with my matching trench coat...'_ he trailed off in his mind. He shook his head violently when he realized it. _'What the hell am I talking about? Where did that come from?'_ Before he knew it the limo halted in front of Mokuba's school.  
  
Kaiba glanced out the window where he saw his younger brother Mokuba running up to the limo, a smile beaming off his face. Kaiba smiled slightly, the corners of his mouth turning up.  
  
_'So young, wild and carefree...' _Kaiba thought sadly. _'Too bad my childhood wasn't like that.' _Kaiba had gone through a rough childhood, so he wanted the best for his little brother. Sometimes he thought his younger brother had him whipped. Mokuba got inside and closed the door and the limo started up and drove off.  
  
"Seto! Hi! How was your day? Mine was great! We did a lot of cool things in art today and we got to play dodge ball in gym!" Mokuba said rapidly. Seto smiled down at his sweet hearted, innocent, kind and gentle brother. He noticed a scrape on Mokuba's cheek. He turned Mokuba's face to the side to examine it and his eyes narrowed to slits.  
  
"Who did this to you, Mokuba?" Kaiba commanded. Mokuba froze up.  
  
"No one Seto, it just...uh...happened in...dodge ball today, Seto!" Mokuba gushed out, waving his hands frantically, removing his face from his older brother's grasp. Seto didn't buy it, not at all, but he couldn't just force it out of him. Sometimes his brother was a little too kind hearted. Seems like he had to put some body guards up to watch Mokuba, he was the only family he had left and he treasured him dearly.  
  
"Fine Mokuba, just get that cleaned up once we get home." Seto replied, and Mokuba nodded.  
  
"Yeah! Of course, big brother!" Mokuba replied cheerfully as he turned to stare out the window at the scenery, but seeming to be in deep thought.  
  
_ 'Something seems to be worrying Mokuba...'_ Kaiba thought sullenly. _'I'll have to question him at the right time or else he'll make up another excuse.'  
_  
Once they reached to their mansion they stepped out and Kaiba ordered a maid to go retrieve a bandage and some antibiotic ointment for Mokuba's scrape.  
  
Kaiba headed for his office and put his briefcase down. He took out the manila folder and was about to open it when he was called down so he walked down the stairs still clutching the folder and placed it in the family room shelf before heading out to the dining room.  
  
He sat down at the long table. It was Seto at one end and Mokuba right next to him. They ate dinner early for Seto always had work to deal with and Mokuba had homework to do, so this was their quality spending time.  
  
Usually peppy Mokuba had a lot to say, but this time he sat quiet staring at his food, making no movements. Seto glanced over to the side as he properly ate his salad. He finished chewing, then swallowed.  
  
"Mokuba, what's the matter kid? Are you not hungry?" Seto asked, confused by his brother's actions.  
  
"I'm not hungry Seto, but could I skip dinner?" Mokuba asked, staring at Seto with his big dewy eyes. Seto was at a loss here. He wanted his brother to eat but he didn't want to force him.  
  
"Yeah you can kiddo, but make sure to eat something later okay?" Seto obliged with his wishes. Mokuba nodded, smiling and excused himself, running up the steps to his room. Seto finished eating and went to his study.  
  
Later that night  
  
Seto finished his program, so he retreated down the kitchen to go make him a cup of coffee. He was dressed in a long midnight blue robe that went down to his ankles with plaid slippers. His program had taken four long hours then he had to check it for viruses, which took an additional two hours. He sighed wearily. It was ten at night and Mokuba was fast asleep. He sent his maids and butlers home so the house was very quiet and empty.  
  
He walked in the family room with his hot cup of coffee in his left hand, taking casual sips. He spotted the shelf where he placed the manila older and grabbed it, retreating to the confines of his comfy couch. He sat himself on it and relaxed back as he doggedly opened it with his right hand.  
  
_'Hm...Police Chief Yamato states that there is a suspect but is one probation until further notice...blah blah blah...okay so who is it?'_ Kaiba thought as he flipped through carelessly until he came up with a picture of a...female? _'This is the suspect? No way! It can't be a female, the weaker species. What's this? Says to have connections to a gang of some sort, is some kind of computer genius though doesn't do much with electronics. So then how can she be the genius...it's just not likely.'  
_  
Seto studied the females profile closely. She had shoulder length toffee colored hair. A small pert nose and rosy red lips set in a curvaceous smile. But one thing drew him into the picture. It was the auburn-haired beauty's large azure eyes that held so much sincerity and happiness that he doubted that she at all had something to do with the case, but he saw something else in there. There was a glimpse of hurt and pain. He'd have to question the police department chief about this tomorrow. Then his eyes glanced over something just a he took a sip of his steamy coffee.  
  
_'Seto Kaiba has to investigate this scene for two months and attend 'Julliard's School Of Dance' and spy on this young woman and find out if she is involved or not, all her connections, the one's she hangs around with, very inconspicuously so no one will expect it.'  
_  
Seto sprayed out his coffee onto the paper in his hand. _'What the hell!'_ Kaiba glared. _'Tomorrow I'm gonna set things straight!'_ Kaiba put away the soaked sheet and the other papers back into the folder and headed to his bedroom for some well-deserved rest.  
  
The Next Day

_ At The Police Station  
_  
Seto Kaiba marched in angrily towards the low class police officers just chatting away and munching on some Dunkin Donuts© donuts and coffee. Kaiba had the limousine driver drop off Mokuba at his school, stating he had some big fish to fry. Mokuba had laughed at his little joke, and Seto calmed down a bit seeing his brother's light laugh.  
  
Kaiba walked up to the front desk, still unnoticed until he slammed the folder down onto the counter angrily, the cops heads snapping around to find the suspect, eyes relaxing on the familiar frame of Seto Kaiba, multi- billion dollar corporation owner.  
  
"W-what can we do for you Mr. Kaiba sir." The first police officer chocked out, trying not to get n his bad side. Kaiba didn't often come to the office department much. Kaiba's eyes narrowed and in a low but demeaning voice stated.  
  
"Get me police chief Yamato." He spat his name out venomously. The officers nodded and the second one ran back to notify their chief. A couple of minutes later as an impatient Kaiba grew the cop came running back.  
  
"Chief Yamato says he'll see you now. It's the second door to the left." The cop breathed out as he stepped aside, while rampaging Kaiba grabbed the folder and walked in quick long strides. He found the door and opened it to find Chief Yamato sitting back on his office chair, feet resting on his desk.  
  
"I hear you have a problem Kaiba." Chief Yamato stated in a hoarse voice. Kaiba raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Is that what your little dog told you." Kaiba replied, with no sense of humor. Yamato frowned.  
  
"Please do not talk about my officers like that Kaiba or you will be detained, no matter what the circumstances." Yamato replied in the same fashion Kaiba had earlier. Kaiba's eyes narrowed, no one had regularly mouthed back to him like that.  
  
"Whatever, I didn't come here to talk about your little _officers_ as you put them. I came here after reading this!" Kaiba threw the manila folder down onto the desk. Yamato took his feet off the desk and sat up rigidly.  
  
"Ah, so you've read that. That must be what's bothering you." Yamato calmly assessed. Kaiba's frown narrowed. "Well, you have to do it."  
  
"Why the hell do I!" Kaiba flipped, eyes full of rage. Yamato said nothing. "Will you freaking tell me!" Kaiba roared, seeing red.  
  
"I will not tolerate swearing, Kaiba. I know you are a very influential person, in many parts of the world, but you also know I'm also your co-guardian." Yamato said, hands folded in front of him, staring at Kaiba intensely. Kaiba said nothing for a moment.  
  
"I don't need a guardian." He stated. Yamato smirked.  
  
"I know that and you know that, but law states it." Yamato explained as if Kaiba were a 3-year old.  
  
"Okay, I don't care, we'll deal with that later. First tell me why I have to do this." Kaiba ordered.  
  
"Well, you are the only one capable. First of all you are in the right age range, second of all this is matters concerning your company and you do want to find out exactly what happened, and third..." Yamato smirked. "...I said so." Kaiba threw a menacing glare at the chief, but said no objections. Yamato smiled. "Good, now to start you off, we're gonna get you a background, a name and info on this young woman.  
  
Yamato ruffled through the stack of folders until he paused a moment to pull one out. Kaiba's eyes scanned over, and he saw the same young woman again.  
  
"Wait, that's not the hacker is it? That's not possible, sh-she's female!" Kaiba sputtered out. Yamato rolled his eyes.  
  
"Women are as smart as everyone else." Yamato stated and Kaiba scoffed. "And yes this is her, and you will be going to her school. It may pose a sort of problem for you, but we'll settle all that out later. Her name's Anzu Mazaki. A 17-year old freshman at Julliard's School of Dance. Hobbies include dancing, roller-blading, and talking. She's smart, friendly and kind, a perfect role model." Yamato finished and Kaiba stared disbelievingly.  
  
"And this is the _woman_ that hacked into my files cause she has the perfect life and is a mannequin dress up doll?" Kaiba stated. Yamato shrugged.  
  
"Well they say she is smart, but we don't know her motive...yet at least. She could've been bribed, forced, anything, and you have to take that into consideration, Kaiba. I'm just as shocked as you, but in all my years I've seen more unlikely suspects so you'll have to deal with it. You will go in undercover and if it just so happens it is not her then we'll get off your case and stop bothering you with these little missions." Yamato replied blandly.  
  
Kaiba thought of it for a bit. This was not the first time Yamato had him do some work, but he never had to go undercover or even spy. But if he did this then Yamato wouldn't bother him anymore...that could work... But that meant that Kaiba had to dress like a...  
  
"Wait! This means I'll have to dress like a girl?" Kaiba bellowed. Yamato nodded.  
  
"Yeah, you will." Kaiba shook his head.  
  
"N-O. There is no way I hell!" Kaiba replied stubbornly. Yamato shrugged.  
  
"Not really up to you. The police have way more connections then you and this is an order, whether you like it or not." Yamato said intently. Kaiba gave up. He tried arguing with Yamato before...he always ended up losing and he didn't like that one bit. "Now come on...we have to get you ready with a fake name, background, ID and enrolled in the school." Yamato stated, rising up from his chair and walking out the door. Kaiba paused for a moment then glared.  
  
"Anzu Mazaki, eh? If you have anything to do with this I'll make you life one living hell." Kaiba hissed to himself as he stomped out of the office, following Chief Yamato's footsteps.  
  
_End Of Chapter 1  
_  
JJ: So what did ya think? The first chappie was pretty boring but it was necessary...the next chappie will be more fun and it's BB's turn! .  
  
BB: Yay! My turn! -  
  
Seto: Aiyah! I have to go to a girls skool?  
  
Joey: Haha! o  
  
Seto: Stuff it or u'll find urself facedown in the dirt mutt!  
  
Joey: shuts up .  
  
Duke: no faiiiir! In an all-girls skool! Man that would be heaven! $$  
  
Bakura: Women. .  
  
Malik: Sleepovers.   
  
Marik: Anzu.   
  
All boys: silence That's right! He gets to be with Anzu! Get him! .  
  
M, YM, B, R, D, YY, Y: charge Kaiba  
  
Kaiba: OO mommy.  
  
JJ&BB: watching the fight with popcorn and sodas  
  
JJ: Yeah! Sock it to him! Ow...no the other him! .  
  
BB: Whoo-hoo! A one and two!   
  
Anzu: --U Buh-bye and review! ¬¬ runs off to stop the fight


	2. Why Me?

BB: OH HELL YEAH!!! It's my turn!!! (pumps fist into the air) I'm doing a chapter for Wild Acts (starts dancing around) And you all know it is going to be VERY demented and funny since I'm doing it!!  
  
Jujubie: (sweating, looking like she was starting to regret ever agreeing to do this) Uh . . . Right. (looks over to Hiei and Seto, who were tied up at the moment and mouthed "Sorry")  
  
BB: (runs up to Jujubie and swings her arm around her shoulder, grinning) Hey there bud!! This chapter will be great!! Oh! Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Seto is trying to escape. We all know that that doesn't make me too happy. (a really evil smile began to spread across her face) Well; I guess we will just HAVE too teach him a lesson, won't we? (snaps her fingers, and Seto was placed in a mob of screaming fan girls)  
  
Seto: (OO) Oh n - - BAM (Seto was tackled by the mob)  
  
Hiei: Please don't do that too me.  
  
BB: Of course not sweetie!! I would never share you!! Your mine!! (runs and sits on his lap) Let us begin!! I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!! But I kinda partly own the plot. In a way. --U Jujubie came up with the plot. And If there are times where I use Tea instead of Anzu, sorry. I'm just really use to writing Tea. But I will try and keep the Anzu name going.  
  
Hiei: Help?  
  
**Chapter 2**  
  
Seto Kaiba let out another irritated growl. 'This can't be happening!! ME, dress up as a wo- -no girl!! ME, get in a frilly pink dress and skip to each class wearing a happy face! ME going to a FRICKEN ALL- FEMALE DANCE SCHOOL!!!!!'  
  
After about another five minutes of pacing around his office he slumped onto a chair with his head in his hands. "Dear Lord help me." He thought as he thought back to the conversation with Yamato.  
  
Earlier that Evening  
  
"Now, as we discussed earlier, you will have to dress up like a girl. Now, you are rather taller than the average female, but we can't do anything about that." Yamato said with a shrug. "But The chest will defiantly give off a sign that you might not be a female. So . . . We will have to stuff your bra."  
  
"W-what?! MY WHAT?!!!" Seto screamed. He didn't care if he was acting out of character at the moment; all that was going through his head was that he was going to be wearing a BRA. And it was going to be stuffed!  
  
"And of course nothing can be done about . . . um . . . little Kaiba." Yamato said with a snort to hold in his laughter as Kaiba went bright red. Part from anger, part from embarrassment.  
  
"I am going to kill you very, very slowly." Seto said in a very dangerous tone. Yamato gave off another shrug. "Can't. You would be convicted of man slaughter. And a police officer at that."  
  
Yamato knew he had him beat, yet again. It was so much fun toying with his mind. "Now. The clothes. I suppose a little shopping is in store. The girls at the school don't have to wear a uniform. So I guess we can buy you long skirts and loose fitting pants and T-shirts."  
  
"Skirts?!" Seto blanched out. "Yes, skirts. Girls wear skirts. But you would need to wear some long ones to cover up your sexy manly legs." Yamato said with a seductive smirk. Seto glared at him. He hated it when he poked at him like this.  
  
"You are so gay." Seto growled. Yamato grinned then placed a finger to his lips in a shushing motion. "Don't tell my wife."  
  
Yamato gave off a cough then went back to his papers. "You will be leaving for the school tomorrow, at ten o'clock sharp. After I finish with some paper work I will take you too are beauticians. You can go on home. I will come by your house with everything and everyone in about . . ." He looked at his watch, "Er . . . I would say two hours. So be ready!!"  
  
Back At Seto's Office  
  
"How could this happen to me? Why did this happen too me?! You!!" He growled pointing to the sky. "Hurry up with the bolt of lighting and kill me!! I don't want to be turned into a sultry witch!!"  
  
Nothing came. "Traitor!!" He yelled. He was cut off when he heard the door-bell ring. "My life is officially over with." He groaned as he got up to meet his doom.  
  
Author  
  
BB: Ta-da!! Yeah, I know it's short. But that's how I usually do my first chapter. I know this is the second, so SHUT-UP! It's the first one for me!! And yeah Seto is out of character. Well, wouldn't you be? Having to dress up as the opposite sex? Anyway!!  
  
Juju: You do realize that I am seriously beginning to doubt our . . . er, partnership.  
  
BB: Aw! I didn't know you felt that way about me!!  
  
Juju: gets giant fan, and hits her over the head  
  
BB: OW!! Sorry!! Please R&R!! 


	3. Makeover

**Wild Acts**

Juju: I'm baaack! ()

BB: (¬¬) It's about time! U kept every1 waiting!

Juju: (sweat drop) Sry every1! I was busy cause I'm taking summer skool and all...

Kaiba: (laughs) U failed? Haha! (Points)

Juju: ( ) I did not! I'm just getting ahead in my curriculum.

Joey: (snorts) whatever ya say...

Juju: Grrr...(pops up magically with a big hammer) Get your carcass over here Joseph Wheeler! (Chases him... )

BB: I thought I was the mad, crazy, psychopathic one...(wonders)

YGO gang and Hiei: You are!!! ( )

BB: (hearts in her eyes) Hiei! My love, mi amor, mi true destino! Come here baby and give me a kiss!

Anzu: (--U) Pathetic...

BB: (pops up w/ a spark in her eye) What did you say?

Anzu: (shrinks) Uh...Go BB?

BB: (smiles) that's better! Now...Hiei! Come out here! Don't make me have to chase you! (in a sing song voice)

Hiei: Eek!

Juju: (returns w/ an unconscious Joey and big hammer) Doesn't she remind you of the crazy girl, Kagura from Fruits Basket who is madly in love with Kyo?

Everyone: Yes!

BB: Who?

Juju: Er... we don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any one else...well maybe BB owns Hiei...Newayz let's get on with the fic...here is chappie three! (;)

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Seto tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for Yamato and company...more like Yamato and hell, or devil and company...yeah he liked the ring to that.

_(Ding-Dong) (Ding-Dong)_

Seto flew headfirst towards the door to unlock it. He sent all the workers and staff home. He didn't want anyone to know about his little 'misfortune'. Unfortunately, Seto had to let Mokuba know of the events and that was embarrassing enough. Mokuba had laughed so hard that tears began rolling down his cheeks and he had to clutch his stomach from the pain and to keep from keeling over. Every time Mokuba saw him he fell into a bit of hysterics.

Seto growled as he unlatched open the door and there stood his makeup and clothes crew. Seto's left eye twitched and his fingers curled up.

_ That devil better be paying for this..._

A man around his early thirties and a bit of queer looking (no offense) walked up to Kaiba saucily and placed a hand on Kaiba's shoulder as a greeting and kept it there longer than necessary.

"Hell-lo! Mr. Kaiba! Ready for your..._makeover_?" The man asked, wiggling his eyebrows at the same time. Kaiba glared at the man, as he stared at the hand on his shoulder as a hint, but the man didn't let up.

"Excuse you." Kaiba stated as he picked the hand off his shoulder and dropped it crossly. The man giggled and patted Seto's cheek, as he pushed Kaiba to the side and walked in, motioning for his crew to follow.

"Classy, very classy...but I've definitely seen better...I mean who is your decorator, hon? Did a simply horrendous job! I mean crystal does _not_ go with porcelain! I mean, duh? What was he thinking?" The man ranted on and on, while Kaiba's eye twitched and his hand itched for some brawling.

_ If he doesn't keep his thoughts to himself, there is going to be a WWF smack down in the Kaiba mansion..._

"Anyways, enough of that! That's not what I'm here for..." The man grinned mischievously, as he took his index finger and ran his finger up Kaiba's stomach and to his collar, where he clasped on and pulled Kaiba in a bit. "I'm here for something _much_ better!" He took his hand off and laughed as he fluttered away.

The little incident left Kaiba feeling queasy and blemished for life. He regained his composure quickly enough to follow the man to wherever he went off to. _He has no business roaming around in my home!_

Kaiba found the man relaxed in Kaiba's favorite plush armchair. The man looked up to Kaiba and grinned as he patted to the side of the armchair for Kaiba to sit on. Kaiba ignored him and took a seat on the sofa across from _that_ guy.

"Now to discuss the payment--" The man started only to be cut off by Kaiba.

"Where's Yamato? Isn't _he_ paying?" Kaiba asked demandingly. The man scoffed.

"As I was saying— " The man tossed a heated glance in Kaiba's direction. "Yamato's part is covered. This _makeover_ is free money wise...but there is a small payment you'll have to do instead and Yamato said you'd agree. And he said he had some important business to deal with but will talk to you later." The man stated cheerfully.

"What is the payment?" Kaiba commanded. The man tossed a playful wink in his direction.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. I'll tell you after the _makeover_." He said sultrily. Kaiba mentally shivered and put on a displeased face.

"Stop calling it _that_. It sounds all girlish." Kaiba commented disgustedly. The man grinned cheekily.

"You'll be a girl in a few hours..._Miss_ Kaiba." The man chuckled as he strolled off. Kaiba grumbled mentally as he followed in suit.

* * *

* * *

The crew ended up setting up in his kitchen. Dangerous objects roamed the places and sharp pointy things were placed on a table. Kaiba gulped. _Who knew being a girl was so hazardous..._

"Come, come! Sit, sit!" The man motioned to a hair-cutting chair. Kaiba timidly sat on it, his shoulders stiff. The man appeared behind him where he massaged Kaiba's shoulders. Kaiba jumped out of the char wide-eyed.

"Do not touch me...you...homo!" Kaiba shouted out. The man laughed.

"Glad we cleared that up...besides its Jack not _homo_." He smiled.

"Jack? What kind of name is that! (no offense) "Kaiba proclaimed aloud.

"I'm from the states, it's not weird there." Jack explained. Kaiba rolled his eyes. Were all guys from the states queer (no offense)? He wasn't so sure he wanted to go there anymore. In fact, he never wanted to go in he first place. "Now sit back down Kaiba and relax. I only touched you because you were so tense." Jack explained.

"I'm _not_ tense so _don't_ touch me!" Kaiba commanded.

"Whatever...Kaiba girl..." He purred, holding a hand up to his shoulder. Kaiba shivered. _Seems like Yamato gave him too much information._

"Now enough chit-chat! Strip." Jack ordered. Kaiba stared at him for a long while before replying.

"I hope you're joking." Jack shook his head.

"No darling, here's what you're supposed to change into, even though I'd prefer there'd be none at all." Jack winked as he tossed the short robe over to him. Kaiba disappeared grumbling, then reappeared again, clad in the robe. "My, my, my. We'll have to wax those long hairy legs of yours.

"You what? Hell no! Yamato said _long_ skirts, nothing, nada about waxing." Kaiba retorted. Jack shook his head.

"What about gym?"

"Sweatpants."

"In this heat? You've got to be kidding! You're getting waxed."

"Nooooooo!" Kaiba shouted as he was dragged off.

* * *

* * *

A family walked by as they heard an ear-piercing scream.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Sure wouldn't want to be their position." The man said, as the family nodded and walked off.

* * *

* * *

"Ugh...I look hideous..." Kaiba stated as they returned. The man sighed exasperated.

"You look fab, hon!" Jack commented, eyeing him up and down. Kaiba wore a long ankle length black skirt, a long-sleeved striped black and white shirt, black stockings and high-heeled boots. Kaiba patted his now stuffed chest. He put on a face of immense displeasure, but realized this situation wasn't half bad. Yeah, right. He had a shoulder length dark brown wig that felt weird to him when it brushed against his neck sending shivers down his spine.

"I look like a fag?" Kaiba misinterpreted Jack's comment completely. Jack laughed lightly as he leered at Kaiba.

"No, not at all hon, I said _fab_...F-A-B, you know as in fabulous? Fabio! Hee. Hee. But you know in England, if you were called a fag you'd be called a cigarette? Isn't that hilarious, darling?" Jack went on about the different meanings. Kaiba placed his hand in his face as he slumped down in posture.

"What's my name going to be?" Kaiba asked sullenly. Jack smiled and whipped out an I.D. card and handed it to Kaiba. Kaiba took it and read the name as his eyes bulged out. "Mary Sue Wilber? Ew...(no offense!)" Jack blushed and snatched the card away.

"Wrong card." He mumbled as he searched more thoroughly this time. He pulled out the right card and gave it to Kaiba. "Here. Your name is Saiori Sae Kaiba. So you have two choices either Saiori or Sae! Aren't I brilliant?" He exclaimed kissing his fingers. Kaiba gave him a weird look. Jack's face then turned serious. "You _must_ at _all_ times, keep that card with you. It is your identification and proof. If you lose it... Three words. You. Are. Screwed. Have I made myself clear?" Jack said as he pursed his lips. Kaiba nodded swiftly.

"Japanese people don't have middle names." Kaiba stated knitting his newly tweezed eyebrows together. Jack laughed.

"Yes, but you have an American mother. Remember you are Seto Kaiba's half-sister." Jack replied.

"Pfft. Like anyone's going to believe that load of crap." Kaiba muttered. Jack grinned deviously.

"Yes they will when it's printed in the newspaper of Tokyo Daily _and_ American Express (pretend it's a USA newspaper and _not_ a credit card)." Jack smiled, as Kaiba stood shocked, and shook his self out of it and changed the subject.

"So what was the sort of payment you wanted?" Kaiba asked sitting up and unintentionally twirling his new locks of hair. The man looked over slyly.

"A _date_."

Kaiba ripped out a piece of his fake hair.

**End Of Chapter Three**

* * *

Juju: Hehehe...what did ya think? ()

Seto: Horrible. Simply horrible. No questions asked. ( )

Juju: (¬¬) No one asked _you_!

BB: Yay! My turn once more! ()

Hiei: (hanging over a pot roast fire, tied up) Help! ( .)

Anzu: What happened this time? (--;)

Bakura: He looked at another girl. (¬¬)

BB: (sobs) How could he! He told me he loves me! (TT.TT)

Juju: (pats BB) It's okay...

BB: It's not okay!

Ryou: (whispers to Hiei) Tell her you love her and you won't die...

Hiei: Never! (Gets lowered) Okay! Okay!

BB: (stares at him with wide eyes)

Hiei: I-I-I like you! ( )

BB: Oh my baby! My sexy demon! I knew you were innocent...it was that entire girl's fault! (Hugs Hiei)

Hiei: () - (Oo) - ( ) Get off of me!

BB: He loves me! He really loves me!

Everyone: Sure he does...(--;)

Juju & BB: Review please!


End file.
